Why are handjobs necessary in class?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize