Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
