Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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