I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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