PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
