i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
did i walk over a car last night?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
