Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
