how can u be prego again
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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