I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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