I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
this boner is exhausting
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Crop dusting thru forever 21
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
