With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
