and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
