is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
