Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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