That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
