Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
