I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
