Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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