have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
