5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
