At least make sure they are 18
Why
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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