i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She needs sedatives and a leash
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
