Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So much rum. So many feels.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
