you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
