Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
