morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
