I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
