If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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