how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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