I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
