so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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