This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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