It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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