i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
