Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My ass is underappreciated
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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