The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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