I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
