You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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