on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
