shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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