do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
