the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
