evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
