is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think my vagina is haunted
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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