I have demons in me.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
