I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
