Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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