You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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