He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
