why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
