I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Randomize