i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
