Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
