You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
