This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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