I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
God I need to hump something, right now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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