this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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