dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
