I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Green mimosas i think yes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
