So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
