I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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