there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
