Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
