i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
